Until Further Titling – Week 2; Covenantal Love
Ronald Rolheiser, a spiritual teacher and author of many excellent books, is a priest – but he claims that is absurd. Man was not meant to be alone. He was meant to be married or surrounded by friends, but he was not meant to be alone. Being alone is psychologically and spiritually dangerous, he argues, and friends can never be enough.
In truth, no one can ever be enough, of course. Even when spouses are best friends and know each other better than any others, contentedness can only last so long. We have a God-shaped hole that we should not try to fill with humans.
Still, finding a good spouse is essential to the fulfillment of human nature, and though devotion to God in the religious life is noble, it is absurd for life on earth (though ultimately not so, of course). We need other people in our lives, and having a few very close friends or a close spouse is best in most respects.
I would add some balance to the above, though. Just as man’s earthly fulfillment is found in spousal commitment, it is extremely important that one learn to live, function, and love being alone. Being social is only one of many facets of life, and it is one that we should enjoy but not place above all others. The spiritual life may be aided by communion with others, but it cannot be complete unless we are able to approach God alone.
I spend a good deal of time alone, purposefully – much to the ire of family and friends around me. It is important to me, though, that I learn to be content doing things alone. We live together, but we all must die alone. Social engagement is hugely important. But being alone is valuable in itself, and I think there is some morality to being able to be your own person, do your own thing, and spend time on your own…
More to come on this theory another day. I am convinced that morality is nearly always a social phenomenon, but for some reason I think there is something important to being alone…
I leave you with a video that relates to the topic at hand, somehow. Notwithstanding all of the above, it does seem to me that those who feel alone no matter who they surround themselves with and love are those who are most likely to change the world…
